save his soul

Former 25 wk premies

bad lungs.

bad gut.

bad heart.

on a ventilator.

on TPN.

…can’t fix the heart. (inoperable)

The heart will be the end of him.

I got a page asking for restraints.

I go and see him

He is waving his little arms and legs.

Looking at the world.

They tell me they are afraid of toys.

Because it might overstimulate him.

Overstimulate his fragile broken heart.

I find a rattle half buried under blankets.

His eyes light up and his hands reach out.

His heart rate is steady,

his breathing is smooth and unlaboured.

He smiles.

I say to heck with his heart.

which I can’t save.

No I won’t restrain him.

Play with him. I tell them.

I cannot save his heart.

But I can save his baby soul.

A soul that just wants to learn

and play

and love

and be.

 

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