We lack a holy rage – The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets… a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world… To rage when little children must die of hunger when the tables of the rich are sagging with food… To rage against complacency. To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God.

-Kaj Munk (quoted in Irresistible Revolution)

I’m angry. I’m mad as hell.

A month ago I walked into a hospital and saw a child named after a biblical angel, his name means ‘God heals’ in Hebrew. The child has as a mild but rare genetic syndrome. In all my inexperience I thought there was no way I was right. 5000 miles from my American ivory tower surely I couldn’t diagnose a disease that most pediatricians have never seen as a 4th year medical student with incomplete history and hap-hazarded physical exam. But if I was right, there was a problem. This child could go blind. I had seen children who had gone blind from similar eye diseases in Romania before. Its horrible, ugly and senseless because its treatable. I begged the staff to let me take him to get his eyes examined they told me I was wrong and that he was perfect except for a clef palate.

But they let me take his picture because he looked like me. So I carried the picture in my suitcase home to the ivory tower where I sent it to the expert, my mentor. She e-mailed and with great pride told me I was exactly right. The kid had the diagnosis I thought all along and could go blind at any time without careful follow up. He is of normal intelligent once he gets his clef palate fixed he is adoption potential but if he goes blind or his eyes never get the chance to see through glasses below the age of three to five and he is severely visually impaired he will get sent to some God forsaken institution to rot. I’ve seen it before but never have in a child so young, never where I could still prevent it. Do you know how maddening it is to know that you have the knowledge to save a child’s life but no one in the child’s world believes you? Or no one in the child’s world cares because he is different and therefore cursed? (more likely)

I’m angry. I’m mad as hell. Because I live in a world filled with the resources to save this child and so many others but my world chooses indifference, my world chooses not to be angry but to be numb. Numb to the pain, blind to suffering.

But God is a God who heals…as this little boy’s name keeps saying again and again in the darkness where he lives.  ‘God heals’ ‘God heals’

We make a choice every day. To be angry, to be angry and fight through pain because ‘God heals’ and he wants to heal our world, to build the kingdom,  if we will embrace the hurting.

Or we can choose to be blind.

I know what I would choose for this child and for myself .  That’s why I’m mad as hell.


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