I’ve been doing a lot of thought lately on the subject of patience and waiting. I’m an impulsive person by nature and work hard against the pull to do things now, to have things now, to want change NOW. This can come out in my frustrations with finances at home, with wanting material blessings, with dreaming up new ideas and wanting them implemented overnight.
I recently came across a wonderful book by Kester Brewin titled Signs of Emergence. The book discusses a broad subject of thigns, but focuses mainly on the transformation of the modern church. “Awesome!” I thought as I read it, “Someone has finally come out with a system to implement and change our dying churches!” I found the book, on the other hand, to be quite the opposite. There were plenty of wonderful ideas, plenty of things that stirred up the fires of imagination in my soul, but the overreaching theme of the book was patience… of waiting.
Brewin states, “Only if I am still. Only if I have stopped what I was doing to listen and hold my breath and enter some spiritual apnea and wait. The perception of the new step will come only to those brave enough to stop dancing to the old.” This doesn’t only apply to one or two people, but to the church as a whole. And that process of stopping, of listening, it takes time. Perhaps I’ve been to hasty in my judgements about the church, perhaps I’ve expected too much of it too soon. Or, perhaps, that I myself have only heard a portion of all that God has to tell us, and that indeed, I don’t have it all figured out just yet (which, I’m very, very much aware that I don’t). So perhaps I’m the one who needs to stop.
To hold my breath.
Perhaps if I just stop dancing to the old step just long enough, I may catch the sound, catch the vision of the new, and that patiently, I might encourage those around me to pause a moment and listen. And together, our little band of ragamuffin rebels can stand dead still in the middle of the ballroom, while thousands continue to waltz around us, and one day… one of us might just break out in disco. But until then? I’m willing to stand still.